Claustrophobia and patterns

Much time has past, with it a happy realisation that patterns repeat. To brake a pattern of thought or even start a new one requires continued strength. It's never easy and I strive for it everyday.
As I have grown older I have a personal firm belief (and an fear of control in fate) that for things to happen you must make them happen. This is why often the time taken to look over a situation, dilemma or even a wish is so productive for me. And I do get joy off doing this, to work out a beginning, a middle and a realistic ending. I'd like to think I'm good at it.
As a witch goes I have no claim to powers or talents, just what mind perceives, every one does this differently. My analysation lends me well to reading the cards, the same one's I begged for at 11 years old and finally received on my 13th birthday. I still use my book, I don't care. I do not charge for readings. Mostly because I'm only telling someone what they already know and it has been quite painful for some to hear at times. I never see it as fate, just a outcome for a person who continues on the path there on.

Try not to read to many 'magic' books of how to, but I do enjoy talking shop and hearing others theory's on magickal workings, spell casting. But instinctively I have to go with what feels right to me until I learn sometime that feels better. I have been never afraid to ask why someone does the things they do and are happy when they too have got to that choice as a result of questioning.
So over this time a matter of hexing/cursing has been thrumming away in my mind. Me, giving it quite a bit of energy, to find my beginning, middle and end. Now whether it is my sub-conscious which found my end or just me knowing I'd had enough, it had been done. Patterns put out into my life through this process had in my mind achieved its goal. Allowing for an balanced end. The spiral of her thoughts, the resulting knots are and will ever be her own.
This is not the first time this has happened, which leads me to wonder why like other people who follow this path, do we surround our self with the paraphernalia of spell casting. I have never picked up a crystal or object and had a vision or jolt of anything. This doesn't bother me and often inner smile with the new age half of the market peddling there wares of 'healing' 'visionary' 'insert appropriate energy word' properties.
To me it's symbolism contained in these object, spells and workings. Something to allow focus. But of course I love my wand, my stang, my feathers and bones. Symbolic and sentiment ago hand in hand, it proves quite hard to move away from a lifetime of exposure on why a rabbits foot is lucky or North is Earth, East is Air...

I love to research and find the history of any belief and am interested in looking into pattern build ups on objects, amulets and talismans that accumulate through time. The forgotten one's quite often go with social changes to. I this interest I hope to focus my creative skill into something more productive.

Will keep you posted